Downtown Walk-Around: Frederick Businesses Bring Sexy Back
June 16, 2014
FREDERICK NEWS POST ARTICLE FEATURE
BY: JEN BONDESON
Walking downtown beneath the shadows of the clustered spires, your heart starts racing. Your palms start sweating. You start slurring your words.
You think to yourself, maybe it's the humidity. No, that's not it.
Frederick is just that sexy.
The city of Frederick was named the sixth sexiest suburb in the nation this week, when compared with 138 other large suburbs, according to movoto.com, a real estate website.
Frederick ranked 11th best overall for nightlife per capita, 17th for hotels per capita, 19th for lingerie store per capita and 21st for massage parlors per capita, according to the website.
"This city’s adorable downtown and beautiful homes are a mere façade for the sexiness underlying it all, from massage places and hotels to lingerie stores," the caption states, posted under a photo of a tan, toned model wearing a bikini.
Are we all talking about the same Frederick here?
I took my sexy self downtown to find out.
Before I did, though, I took a few Mucinex for my nagging cough and pulled a stray hair from my chin.
I, like Frederick, am the epitome of sexy.
Business owners were surprised to hear how sexy they were.
Meline Baron said it must be her glasses. Of course she would. She is co-owner of Visions Extraordinary Eyewear on North Market Street.
Although she doesn't want to claim that her shop is why Frederick is so sexy, Baron said, having a selection of sexy eyewear available downtown for so many years has definitely helped.
"Glasses give people a new image, a new look," she said. "They help them express their other side. Their sexy side."
If you want to know what makes Peggi Joy, owner of A Perfect Fit Bra Boutique and Fitting Salon, so sexy, she said you'll need to call her husband and ask him.
"He would have a whole line of things to say, knowing him," she said.
Joy said her store makes people sexy because the products fit so well.
"It puts a little bit of pep in your step," she said. "And it shows."
Guys can get sexy in Frederick, too. A Perfect Fit sells SAXX underwear, marketed as better-fitting boxer briefs.
"We call it getting our SAXXy on," Joy said.
Baker Park, hear me roar.
Verbena Day Spa on West Patrick Street was the only business listed in the article as a good place for "a nice, relaxing couples massage."
I asked the Vieira sisters, Evie and Victoria, who work at Verbena, what would make Frederick more sexy. They had a few ideas, including but not limited to: gondola rides on Carroll Creek (with candles), more romantic lighting, a 16-piece orchestra playing at all times, a dance floor, violinists provided with taxpayer dollars, big bowls of spaghetti to share, a hotel (one made of chocolate is preferable) and a pole-dancing studio.
Sandy Steele of The Loft at AI started dancing and singing "I'm too sexy for my furniture" after I walked in her store.
"(Frederick's) becoming the cool, sexy place to be," she said.
"It's the sexy vibe," she said. Then, she winked at me and clicked her tongue.
I decided I had to go to a real reputable place for some answers: Bradley's Books Adult Video and Gift Outlet on North Market Street.
When I asked Chris Curran, who has worked in the store for five years, what made the shop sexy, he said it was probably the fact that it had been around for so long.
Yes, there is nothing more sensual than stability.
I guess after spending five years with panties and ... other products ... tacked on the walls around you, nothing excites.
Curran said Frederick would be sexier if it could "get rid of the bums."
And what makes Curran sexy?
"I have absolutely no idea," he said.
Follow Jen Bondeson on Twitter: @Jen_Bondeson.
